
I was sitting at a restaurant eating dinner with my parents, Chelsea, and our realtor, and I wanted to tell Chelsea something so I asked her to come to the bathroom with me.
Chelsea: Where are you going?
Me: To the bathroom, wanna come?
Chelsea: In which way? *laughs*
Me: Well I mean we could *laughs* I’ve seen it in movies.. oh wait, never mind, it wasn’t a movie. Forget it.
Chelsea: It was porn, wasn’t it?
She knows me so well it’s disturbing. Here’s to my new roommate :-)
(via jacklecki)

BRING IT BACK
Oh, Gordo, I always wished for a guy like you.
(Source: freecocaine, via myblissfulsimplicity)

Hahahahaha this just reminds me of when I was afraid to fly on a plane by myself.
(Source: fystarwars, via starwarsfuckyeah)